I recently wrote a post, lashing out at my friend.
I’ve since deleted. You’re free to ask me about it.
Yea, he’s at fault, but I reacted the wrong way too.
'Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit. '- Proverbs 18:21
‘With our tongues we praise our Lord and Father. With our tongues we call down curses on people. We do it even though they have been created to be like God. Praise and cursing come out of the same mouth. My brothers and sisters, it shouldn't be that way.’-James 3:9-10 (New International Reader’s version)
Whether we know it or not, there is the power of life and death within us, no in between.
The tongue has the power to proof, to rebuke, to encourage, to destroy, to hurt, to murder.
'Most people, when they desperately want something, will say things like, “I am dying for that piece of cake!” Few will say, “I am living for that piece of cake!”
What is worse is that we are quick to mention death when things go wrong.
Singaporeans are quick to say things like, “Die lah! Die lah!” at the drop of a hat. Nobody says, “Live lah! Live lah!”
Yet, the truth is that every word you speak has power — to build or destroy hopes and dreams, to restore or cause loss, to heal or break the spirit, to bring delight or despair, to bless or curse — for God’s Word says that death and life are in the power of the tongue.' - Pastor Prince, Daily Devotional (2009)Haha, yea, it's true isn't it. I hear people saying 'die die die' all the time.
And I used to fight with my sis when I was younger and shouted 'go and die la'.
As you know, I don’t mean to. It was just in a fit of anger.
On the hindsight, what if something happened to her in the past.. I'd be guilt-ridden.
This is an area with which I have struggled for many years.
I stopped saying 'go and die' since I attended church in 2003.
But somehow, I didn't placed vulgarities together with it.
Call me slow or what, but I only recognised I had a problem when Alvin told me.
It seemed very natural to just say ‘fuck’ without much thought when I'm pissed over something. I'd just say 'fuck la'.
I remember there was once, I muttered 'fuck' under my breath, I fergot what was it about.
Then a goody-two-shoes classmate of mine overheard and went, 'hor.., I'll go and tell teacher.'
'F-u-c-k you? Go and tell la.' was my reply straight in her face.
Till today, I don't know if she did, cause our form teacher didn't call fer me. But I knew she went telling her group of friends. Hurhur. That was Primary 4.
(mm.. I learned from my dad. He says it over the phone when I was younger. Now, he uses it on me too. woah ya? how not to be influenced.)
Alvin said, ‘hey, your mouth’s ruling over you’ and asked me to stop saying it.
Being me, I told him, 'aiya.. whatever.' and stopped him from 'preaching'.
But inside me, thought bubbles began to form 'o ya, why couldn't I control my mouth?!’
Hence, I issued a challenge to myself and tried to stop myself from saying it.
I won't let my mouth 'rule over' me..
Needless to say, with self effort, ha-ha, I found it reaaally difficult. KNS. (like shiat not vulgar right? I’m equating things to feaces nia. I’m being honest with all that I type here; whatever goes into my mind is out here. One day, I shall cease spouting such uncouth words, in Jesus’ name!)
Yea, so I lost the challenge, let down my ego and told him, 'Ok, I CMI.. pray fer me.' (cannot make it. Hahaha, abbreviations, a Singaporean thing)
Hence, we prayed over it and God never fails.
I found myself not saying ‘fuck’ in recent years, though I occasionally still spew out when I accidentally trip or bump into something.
Weird though, it evolved to ‘cheebye la’ or fingering __ if we’re too far away to say cheebs. (Alvin and I say that to each other, once in a while.. in a harmless and cheeky way)
The process may be slow fer me, but I’ve already felt it began without self effort. Thank you, Jesus!
As I was searching fer verses, I found this online, by some other pastor.
‘Word are important. After all, God created the universe with words. He spoke and it was so. Our Lord Jesus was called THE WORD. “In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God. And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us…
'Proverbs 16:1 says, “To a man belongs the plans of the heart, but from the Lord comes the reply of the tongue.” That verse means the tongue can be put under the Lord’s control. That’s a great thought. Your tongue, which today may be set on fire of hell may become a tongue under God’s control. He can give you new lips. He can give you a new tongue. He can put new words in your mouth. He can baptize your speech.' – Pastor Ray, (1994) (click)
May the good Lord help me.
Truly yours,
Emily
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wa lao.. i'm so f.king pissed.
Someone told me he won't be uploading photos of him and me on facebook because taking photos with him alone would create scandals.
I was ok with not uploading, big deal. But seeing the 2nd part made me see red.
I understand he's currently wooing a girl, but only a few photos, plus I see him less than 10x a year (that's with a group of people somemore), how does this constitute to a scandal?!
I replied 'how does it create a scandal?', 'anything la' and went offline.
FKNNCB. I bothered to go to his *, and then he tells me this. Don't invite me in the first place.
It's more hurting than pissed actually, My Friend. (?)
It's like as if I'm the potential third party of his yet-to-begin-r/s or he's wooing 2 girls at the same time by just merely taking a few photos..
Am I right to say he's not being truthful to his yet-to-be-gf.
Imagine after going out a few years and by chance she finds his photos with many other girls. He'd look more like a playboy than anything.
I actually typed a quite a lot, cooled down and hit 'backspace' after that.
It's just CB now. yea, CHEEBYE.
Should I tell him or not. Minus the CBs.
